Virginity - BE GONE!

Yesterday my husband came home from work in quite a state. Instead of greeting me with a kiss and a "How was your day?" I got a very curt "Fix me a drink please". So I'm thinking, Wow he must have had a really bad day at work. Being the "doting wife" that I am (stop laughing those of you that know me personally) I asked him what was wrong. He tells me that he got a phone call from his Ex that their daughter was no longer a virgin! GASP!!! - the world stops spinning, birds become flightless and life as we know it is coming to an end!



My stepdaughter is almost 16 years old and this is not 1952, so I assumed that this event was on the horizon. My husband is heartbroken and looks as if someone just kicked him in the nuts. So I asked the requisite when and where and how does her mom feel about it. We discussed it for at least an hour and he is just sitting there looking defeated and almost like he wanted to cry.


I know how men feel about their daughters especially when it comes to their daughters and sex. The bottom line is that if they really want to do it, there is nothing we can do to stop them. But we to have to arm them with all the information we can and hope that they wait. Realistically, kids today are bombarded with sexual images all day everyday from the revealing clothes kids wear to music videos, television, movies, magazines... you name it and in today's world there is some sexual content to it. While there may be some kids who will abstain, the majority of them will not, and the safest assumption for parents is that their kid will be one of the kids that will not.

What do you do about? Well, being the parent of a 6 year old, I already have my plan laid out. She can stay in after care until she is 12. When she starts middle school - in six years - I already have an agreement in place with my boss that I can take my lunch hour at 2pm, pick her up from school and bring her back to work with me until it's time to go home. We will continue this agreement until she finishes high school. There will be no dating, concerts, sleep overs or any activities other than school that allow her to be out of my sight for longer than 2.5 minutes. Once she goes to college the plan becomes a little tricky. I currently have in development a Vagina tracking system complete with chastity belt and an alarm system that includes sharp needles should there be any unauthorized entry. You can get in on this now parents of girls...it will work! I know it will!!

In reality, even if all of my plans worked out, she will still have sex before I think she is ready. The only thing I can do is be as honest and informative as possible and create an environment where she feels comfortable discussing anything with me. My parents were very open and honest with me about their thoughts on sex and when I decided I was ready to be on the pill my mother took me to get it. When I was 17, my parents went off on an overnight trip and my father laid down the law to me and my boyfriend about him not being there while they were not home. His final words to my boyfriend were "Don't make anything in here that you can't eat" In the interest of protecting my spotless reputation (HA HA HA) I won't discuss what went on while they were gone - but we didn't do a whole lot of cooking!

I have known my stepdaughter since she was 5 years old, and we have a good relationship. So asked my husband if he wanted me to talk to her and he said that I should, but that he would talk to her first. So what should I say?? THE TRUTH. Sex is good when it's between two responsible adults who love and respect each other (I will leave out the part about picking up hot guys at the club for a one night stand - with protection of course) But I think that my conversation with her will have a lot more to do with the consequences of sex rather than the actual act.

Yes she needs to know about unplanned pregnancies, and STDs but I want her to know about how it can impact her future. I want her to know how being irresponsible about sex now could make the difference between going to college and a career flipping burgers. I want her to know about the emotional impact of sex. That there are guys out there who will say anything to get you in bed and that a marriage proposal or declaration of love during the act is often meaningless once the deed is done. So, parents of teenage girls, I invite you to share with me your thoughts on talking to teenagers about sex.