Trying to Sleep in the Bed I Made

Thursday, June 14, 2007

What Happened? & Sexy Appliances

Is today really the first day of the rest of my life or is it just the last day of my old life? As each day goes buy I find myself feeling older and older. Today is a perfect example. Today is the first last day of school for my six year old. She just finished kindergarten and she is truly excited that it's the last day of school and she gets to sleep late tomorrow and start summer camp next week. She talked to my husband and I about it last night at length, her eyes gleaming with excitement.



I said to my husband "I really miss the last day of school." I remember each last day as if it were yesterday. The plans I would make for the summer. Skipping home from school like I had just been released from prison. Knowing that I could spend the next day hanging out at the pool and there would be no test and no homework. The feeling of freedom when I got up the next morning. Damn I miss those summers. It's enought to make me consider changing professions and becoming a teacher just to have the summer off. But then I remember that I really don't like other people's children (my godchildren excluded of course).


So where did the time go. How did I get to be this 34 year old stick in the mud who has to set bed times, check homework and remind (nag) the husband to take the garbage out and cut the grass. My aging is bringing me down. Yesterday I bought all new appliances for my kitchen. I was so excited it was almost sexual. I had a cigarette as I basked in the afterglow of my purchase. The new flat top electric stove, double door refrigerator and digital display dishwasher are so sexy. They will be delivered tomorrow, and I am thinking about finding a sitter for my daughter so that I can be alone with them when they arrive.



Since when are applicances exciting. There was a time when I would have taken that money and blown it on a new wardrobe of tight, slinky, short clothes or I would have hopped on a plane and gone to the Bahamas but all I could think about was the new appliances. When did my life become so mundane. The only thing that makes it better is knowing that my sister has it worse then me. She recently bought a new refrigerator and stunned the salesman by hugging it before she left the store to wait for it to be delivered. I will NOT hug the new appliances - - but I might give them head!

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13 Comments:

At 9:54 AM , Blogger Deena said...

Responsibilities...don't they suck? Wouldn't it be nice to have at least one summer from long ago and savor each and every moment of it? It seems like we never appreciate things until we lose them! (At least that's me!)

 
At 11:26 AM , Blogger Jocelyn said...

Yes, it's best to be left alone when communing with one's appliances. Happy humming to you with them.

Maybe you can think of your life as just different and not "mundane." I mean, homework is HOT.

 
At 12:14 PM , Blogger Gorilla Bananas said...

Many women find sitting on their washing machines exciting during the spin cycle.

 
At 7:35 PM , Blogger EsLocura said...

Now I understand how I have mistreated my fridge, I never give him head, perhaps it's just my fear of chipping a tooth.

 
At 8:48 PM , Blogger Lex said...

Do you remember taking home all of the old dittos and lined writing paper (strawberry, vanilla and chocolate) and attendance cards so we could play school all summer? Talk about missing the point!

I miss teaching so much when it gets warm outside. But I don't miss the salary. It's all relative, Lady.

You aren't getting old!! You're as young and hot with a bad ass kitchen. You're allowed to be excited about that.

Giving head to the fridge and stove..all good if you swallow.

 
At 8:49 PM , Blogger MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

I am dreaming of the day I can replace my dishwasher, microwave and oven. Totally an out-of-body, orgasmic enducing experience I can't wait to have!

Love this post, and your addition to the MM ongoing story.

 
At 9:27 PM , Blogger mist1 said...

I find myself lusting over the deep red washer dryer. If only it came in a stackable.

 
At 9:49 PM , Blogger SBW in MD said...

Deena - I am tired of being responsible. If only my mom would come by and make me take a bath and go to bed while she cleaned the kitch and ironed my clothes for the week.

Jocelyn - Homework is indeed HOT! Boy I can't wait for the first grade homework (she shudders with pleasure at the thought of the addition and subtraction to come)

GOrilla - Why do you think I am running a laundromat out of my basement?

Eslocura - try flavored lube--the teeth just slide!

Lex - how do you think I got this nice shiny coat?? PROTEIN BABY!!

Manic - I think I am asking for an over the rang microwave for valentines day. And I love the ongoing story!!

Mist - Stackable?!?!? OOOOHHH Aren't YOU the naughty one!!

 
At 7:32 AM , Blogger Glamourpuss said...

I find the opposite - life gets better and more exciting the older I get. I feel freer now than I ever have in my life. But a dishwasher sounds fun...

Puss

 
At 1:57 PM , Blogger Dan said...

I was so excited it was almost sexual. I had a cigarette as I basked in the afterglow of my purchase.

LOL!! Very funny.

Don't feel bad. Guys are like that too ... with electronic equipment. I can't get enough of it.

 
At 4:59 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I did NOT hug the refrigerator! I was simply measuring it with my arm span to ensure that it would fit....maybe you should have tried it!
AND the correct phrase is "worse than" not "worse then" But hey, what are sisters for if not to correct you in front of millions?

 
At 9:27 PM , Blogger Amie Adams said...

Oh sister you're singing my song.

And now I feel like such a goodie goodie. On which part of the fridge does one perform said fellatio?

 
At 9:32 PM , Blogger SBW in MD said...

Mamma - You gotta take it one cubic foot at a time.

 

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