Kid's Say the Darndest Things

I think I love my daughter...

She is more like me than I ever could have imagined which is a really bitter pill to swallow. Lately she's become obsessed with my weight. Being a plus sized woman I would not say that I obsess about it, I just think about it all the time. I also find that she tries to use it against me.

We sat together the other night eating girl scout cookies. I know I should not buy them, but there they were (the girl scout cult) outside of the grocery store accosting people like drug pushers..."We got thin mints lady, c'mon you know you want some...how about a few trefoil chasers... c'mon a lady your size...you know you want them" I bought 18 boxes... not really just 3.

So there we were eating girl scout cookies and I told her that she'd had enough and then I popped another in my mouth. She was really pissed that I would not let her eat anymore and so she says to me " Mommy, if you keep eating those cookies you are going to get soooooooo biiiiiiig"

I will admit that my feelings were hurt. So I did what any woman would do--I finished the box! It was almost as bad as the time she said to me "Mommy when are you going to stop eating sweets so you can go back to your regular size." I informed her that this IS my regular size and that hosting a parasite in my body for 9 months was part of the problem (okay 7 months - I am lazy and she was a preemie)

I think my favorite thing that she has said so far was to my mother. She spent the weekend with my mom a while back and after my mom bathed her she said "Grandma I will help you take a bath too, but I am NOT washing your vagina!"

How can you not love this kid!

The Rabbit Died

I always wondered what a rabbit had to do with pregnancy. I think I was maybe 20 before I found out that they used to perform a test using the appendix of a rabbit to determine if a woman was pregnant. I cannot assure you of the validity of this information as I believe I learned this little tidbit on an episode of MASH. You know the one... Hot Lips thinks she's pregnant by Lt Col Penobscott so they need the appendix of Radar's pet rabbit and Hawkeye performs an appendectomy on the rabbit so they won't have to kill it.... Anyway, it sure makes me grateful for the whole pee on a stick thing.

I peed on a stick yesterday. Two pink lines showed up. So I dragged my six year old to the grocery store in the pouring rain and bought two new sticks. I peed on the first one. Two pink lines showed up. I paced the room for about 45 minutes before my husband got home. I told him about the sticks. He smiled and laughed. I went to the bathroom and peed on the second new stick. Two pink lines showed up. Did you know that frequent urination is a sign of pregnancy? Apparently another sign is three positive pregnancy tests. I learned this yesterday.