Let's Pretend
Today I am going to tell you about my screen name "Lets Pretend" It derives from a game I like to play called Lets Pretend - Worst Case Scenario.
My sister insists that I never want to live in reality. I do not agree. It's just that I can never seem to "live for the moment". It's something I am working on. I like to think ahead... Let's pretend that I won the lottery and I have $100 million dollars (56 million after taxes.) What would I do. Who would I help..." And there's the other end... "The worst case scenario would be if my stepdaughter got pregnant and moved in with us and I end up raising the baby while she talks on her cell phone to her friends and gets ice cream stains on my couch." Could these things possibly happen? Yes they could. Will they actually happen? Probably not!
When I am feeling a little down I play Let's Pretend... I am at the Food Lion and I run into Will Smith and we discover that we both have a love for Wild Vines Green Apple Wine (the cheapest rot gut in the store). He is amazed by how much we have in common and falls madly in love with me -- He can't believe that he has lived his life without me for all these years. He carries me in his arms to his mansion where he massages my feet and feeds me Hershey bars all day. MMMMMM ... I think I need a cigarette.
Then there are days that I worry that I am too happy so something bad is bound to happen like... worst case scenario... My boss discovers that I am NOT really the great employee that he thought I was because all I do is surf the net reading blogs all day (and writing my own) so he fires me. When my husband finds out I have no job, he leaves me and takes custody of our daughter. I lose my house and end up living with my mother who berates me all day for being the disappointing lump she always knew I would be. After I lose my health insurance (because I was too stupid to COBRA) I find out that I have lung cancer and I only have six months to live. At which point I run into Will Smith at the Food Lion who looks at me distastefully, hands me 20 bucks and tells me that there is a shelter just down the street where I can get a bath and a hot meal.
Will these things happen? Probably not. But I like to be prepared. It's a sick sick fetish I know. But it's just me...trying to sleep in the bed I made.
posted by SBW in MD @ 10:21 PM
11 Comments:
My "let's pretend" involves wondering what my life would be like if I wasn't married, if I didn't have kids, and if I could hop on a plane at a moment's notice to reconnect with the ex from college who used to make me feel so amazingly good in more ways than one.
Then my worst case scenario "let's pretend" involves me realizing after it's too late that I made the biggest mistake of my life because the ex doesn't really want me (or vice versa), my husband now hates me, my children are now part of a broken home, I'm now a single parent, and all the crap that goes with all of that. This is the point when I say to myself, "stop dreaming and start accepting what you have." But it's not that easy, is it? But it sure is nice to know I'm not alone.
Great picture of Will Smith by the way...
Still, 20 bucks from Will Smith doesn't sound too bad.
Man, it's almost as if I wrote the words myself. But replace Will Smith with Diane Lane.
The game I play in my head is "would you want to be in that relationship?" I look at all the people I know who are hooked up, and pretty much my answer is always "Daaaaamn, but no." This post of yours is a howler--I'm loving how your brain works.
"laugh" I feel your pain...I have a friend that we play the yes no yes no game...I say yes you could totally be with her and he says yes no yes no on the guys that I imagine would instantly fall in love with me and want to marry me only I tell them no cause I have commitment issues...I mean Imean if your going to dream big you...better make it really big and make myself feel as if I am wanted by all...I always am telling myself your good enough, smart enough and gosh darn it people like you...call me crazy...
I think Will would instantly fall head over heals with you...why wouldn't he???
I've always had a thing for Will too.
If it gets to the homeless point, I'll share my Boone's Farm with you.
Anonymous - I think you are even better at this game than I am!
Mist1 - This close to Chirstmas 20 bucks from Maggie Smith would be welcomed!
Dorky D - I am quite certain that somewhere in Hollywood Diane Lane is having the exact same fantasy about you!!
Jocelyn - I like that game too. It REALLY makes me appreciate my husband when I see some of the assholes my friends are in relationships with!
Just Telling - From your mouth to Will's ears...but who is going to hold down Jada? Somehow I think she could kick my ass, she looks really scrappy!
Christina - I'll bring the glasses (ie old jelly jars)
Hey!!! You must PAY me for making you feel good about your husband. No freebies.
I gots that small little thing we call Jada! LOL ;o)
Seriously..I love it!
Can we just pretend all day and getpaid?
dAMN it I knew there was a cathc on this thing...
Hello???????? Where'd you go?
I always thought you were a nut case - this confirms it! Thanks for the laughs!
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